Age Spots and a Blue Mohawk

As a person ages, some of us will start to get what looks like big freckles on our skin.  My doctor attempting to comfort me told me when I discovered these spots on my skin said it wasn’t anything unusual, they were simply age spots – a sign of growing older.  Gee, thanks doc.  Perhaps you like to remind me that my brain is deteriorating to gelatinous goo as well.  So signs of getting old(er) are creeping up on me….I can live with that…I think.  There’s an old bumper sticker that used to ask the question, “Why be normal?”  I think that question resonates with my family.  We seem to take a different view the world.  In fact there are times we choose to do things (my son in particular) based on the phrase “Do it for the story.”  So far our activities and exploits have kept us off the TV show America’s Dumbest Family, but just barely. 

My son has determined his father will not slip into a quiet, comfortable, sedate, existence.  For Father’s day this year I received a scalp treatment ointment which was supposed to make my bald head (a.k.a. my solar panel)  sprout lush, thick, hair.  After putting on this so called cure for baldness – which has a strong smell of cloves, thus making me crave ham for a week – I found that the top of my head is still vacant of any signs of life.  My son was concerned that the scalp balm would turn out to be a bomb, so he thoughtfully had a backup.   A few days after Father’s Day, part two of my gift arrived.   It was blue mohawk.  That’s right….a 9 inch strip of blue synthetic hair that stands 4 inches high straight up with 4 suction cups to help it attach to wherever you are putting it.  At first I was concerned what the congregation might think if I showed up on Sunday morning sporting this new “do”.  Let’s face it some of those folks think not wearing a tie to church could put your soul in danger of the fires of hell, how would they respond to a mohawk, and a blue one at that?  I’m convinced church services would begin with fainting, screaming, and a few suggestions that an exorcism would be appropriate.  As a minister I really want to connect with all the members of my congregation.  I think a mohawk just might be the thing to engage the under 20 crowd.  After all, none of my social media seem to work.  I have a twitter account, but no one reads my twits.  If I ever make a comment on someone’s “wall”, I find I am quickly un-friended.  It was right after I created the church’s FaceBook page that FB chose to change from being “fans” of, to “liking” pages and groups.  Coincidence…..I think not.  Well, I’m not giving up.  I’ve discovered that my blue mohawk is not designed to go directly on my scalp, but on my scooter helmet…..which explains the “stays secure up to 200 mph”.  I was really wondering just how many people were worried their mohawk might blow off in the middle of a hurricane.  “There goes the house and the car…Oh no!  But at least my mohawk is on securely!” 

Now that I have the appropriate information, I’ve attached the mohawk my helmet.  And I get the strangest stares as I drive through town.  People who used to smile and wave now point and stare.  Only a couple people have been so intrigued by my look that they drove off the road while gawking.  But mostly I just get very questioning looks.  Who is that man with the age spots and why does he have a blue mohawk?

I Peter 2 says But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that you should sow forth the praises of him who has called you out of darkness into his marvelous light…  I have always thought it was interesting that we are called a “peculiar people”.  As followers of Jesus Christ, we are not just one of the crowd.  We are different.  We see the world differently.  We have a different set of priorities.  Our highest calling is to follow Jesus Christ, not an athlete, rock star, or politician.  Our treasures are not found in stock portfolios or safe deposit boxes, but in heaven.  We don’t follow the world’s ways.  We aren’t normal.  We are called to something greater, because we are a part of something greater.  We are chosen, royal, holy.  We are God’s people called to show forth His praises.  So if you see a blue mohawk out there, remember, I’m not just weird guy rebelling against aging.  I am just living out the Word of God and being a peculiar person.

Chad

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One Response to “Age Spots and a Blue Mohawk”

  1. Kaye says:

    Loved it!!!!!!!!!!!! thanks for sharing.

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